Time is always ticking away. It is truly amazing how seconds, minutes, etc. pass by while we are seldom conscious of their expiration.

I just watched the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. If you haven't seen it, please set aside a good 2.5 hours to do so. Maybe it's just me arriving at a certain juncture in my life, or perhaps it's my amazement at how this movie made Brad age in reverse, and so convincingly.

Everyone always talks about needing more time... to finish a project at work or at home. To spend time with friends and loved ones. To pack up the rest of the kitchen.

With sealed boxes everywhere in my home, and a newfound direction in my life, I'm just ready to thoroughly enjoy time while it chooses to give more of itself to me.

I love you Saint Louis, more importantly, I love the genuinely beautiful people that have graced me with their friendship and company in my time here. I will see y'all soon! :-D

After one of my eldest cousins posted some great advice on our family website about having faith, hope and showing love in these harsh times, I responded with the following. I have another very pessimistic cousin active on our site whom I tried to indirectly address in this post, but who knows if/how he took it. Anyhow, I hope anyone who reads this takes it to heart and acts on it.




Cousin Larry, I know that Grandmother and Grandfather Lane are so very proud of you for the way you have lived, loved, and just spoken your beliefs in this post. I truly appreciate your optimism as well as others, and I know that most of the other members on this site agree.

But let me say this -- people can and will surprise you. Anyone is capable of this feat. Just last week I worked with a single delivery man to transport 400 lbs. of instrumentation to my customer's site. We usually have a two man team, but instead of bitching and moaning I just got down to some dirty work.

Upon first glance I assumed he was a total slacker, but he had the good heart to put in extra time to help me out even after he was told his job was done. So, assumptions are asinine, and first impressions are more often than not, incorrect.

The take home message is this:

I don't care how many times you have been burned, by how many or which people or how repeatedly. It's one thing to build a safety net, but when you lose your faith in humanity or God or just trust in general, you have alienated yourself on your own agenda.

I hope these ingredients spice that 'tude pie up a bit. ;o)

Got To Give It Up.

This song has a dual meaning for me. After a tumultuous 2008, I plan in this new year to not only give up smoking altogether, and drinking except at special occasions (even then, definitely in moderation), but I'm ready to give up the life I have lived for the past four years. It's time to grow up and be more responsible for myself and my life while looking forward to the possibilities for my future.

I just smoked my last cigarette as one third of my new year resolution. I had to give that up for obvious reasons, but I'm more than ready. I've been thinking about it for months. It was funny, too, because I didn't really enjoy that last smoke. I spat, and it was cold, but I still took my time to 'savor' it or whatever. After I flicked the cherry off and put it in the bucket, I realized smoking it really didn't make me feel better or more buzzed or whatever. That realization in itself made me more of a believer in myself and my ability to do it. I have asthma, and have no business doing things that compromise the health of my lungs.

I only smoke when I drink, therefore I am cutting my drinking back drastically as well. That's the second third of the resolution. I was doing well before the holidays with the demanding new job and all the travel, but then there's those holiday parties, cocktails, etc. It was fun and all, but now it's time to really buckle down.

The last third is taking better care of myself, starting with working out and renewing the diet plan that caused me to lose about 45 pounds last year. I feel so much better than I did a year ago, and know I will feel even more so when I drop below my college form (which involved more drinking than should have taken place anyway).

I've done a lot of things in the past seven or eight years that have forced me to tread water in my life, holding me back from my future happiness and well being. I've Got To Give It Up.

So here it is. One of my guilty pleasure songs. :-) Marvin Gaye totally rocks my face off. Happy New Year, y'all.



I used to go out to parties and stand around
'Cause I was too nervous to really get down
But my body yearned to be free
I got up on the floor, boy
so somebody could choose me.

No more standin' there beside the walls
I have got myself together, baby
I'm havin' a ball

Long as you're groovin'
There's always a chance
Somebody watchin' might wanna make romance

Move your body, ooo baby,
And dance all night
Do that grooving’
Feel all right

Everybody's groovin' on like a fool
But if you see me spread out and let me in
Baby just party high and low
Let me step into your erotic zone

Move it up
Turn it down
Shake it down

OOWWWW

You can love me when you want to babe
This is such a groovy party baby
We're here face to face
Everybody's swingin'
This is such a groovy place

All the young ladies are so fine!

You're movin your body easy with no doubt
Know what you thinkin' baby
You want to turn me out
Think I'm gonna let you do it babe

Keep on dancin'
You got to get it
Got to give it up.